Saturday, January 15, 2011

No such thing as bad bye

This particular stream of words and thoughts will not use the word love (well, just this once) for I am definitely not in love with you (okay, make that twice). I want you to know, however, that you are special to me even though it could never have been obvious—well, for obvious reasons. It wasn’t meant to be, not that I would have wanted anything to mean something. Now, let me tell you that when I use indefinite pronouns at least twice in a single sentence, such as what I just did, that means something special. Oh, I already said you are special to me. Well, you are special, just as you are, without any reference to me. And you know you are. And I told you that. Not per se, but you know what I mean. I’m glad I did, at least at the very last time which is, in fact, an irony for a first moment. Some things begin last. Well, isn’t that a swell oxymoron! Or was I a moron for not having taken chances?

My thoughts are as mixed up and muddied and confusing like that 13th zodiac sign brouhaha, but I want you to know that if things worked out differently, if I had behaved better (not that I had misbehaved or anything), I would have really wanted you. I am listening to P_____ N______’s albums right now without looking at the titles of songs. I love the rustic tunes, but I never get to know their titles, really. Maybe his music could work as a metaphor for you: I don’t look, I just listen. Sometimes I would shut my eyes and just listen. To you. And I would feel your soul, one that’s so gentle I would think it was mine to bathe in forever. Well, that f word’s an exaggeration. Just like, er, love. So I would just swim in your reverie, without you knowing it. Sometimes hear, but always listen. To you. Even if you were not there. As you are now.

If P___ N____ doesn't work for you, let me just sing in the similar laidback fashion of Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová: I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that...

Hey, do you ever think of me? Even ill thoughts would be fine, haha. Now I think of what could have been. Poets of the world, why does “hi” rhyme with “bye”? I’ve said good bye, haven’t I? And yes, it’s a good one.

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